RE: Transformation.....Help!!

I did it yesterday...I had somebody give me a transformation. I was not happy with the results may I say. The person that did is more in the CD mindset and like to wear a lot of make-up and dress more what other words may I say sluty. First I'm not into it ....the make-up and dressing sluty. My mindset is not that of CD. I'm old hippie at heart. So give me a denim skirt and cotton top. Very little make-up I like the more natural and mature look. I try it and if someone like to see the results I can email a picture to you. ( believe me you can have a good laugh) It would be nice to have a mentor to show me the correct way of becoming what I like to achieve. Being trans to me is something that is a mindset and also political in nature. Being accepted by other woman and transpeople also is important to me as well. I think the one that get dress up and go to the bars on the weekend and act trampy doesn't help the cause it just makes it stereotypical of what people think of trans people. That a shame. Well it back to drawing table. I will say I don't have bad legs. They couldn't ruin that. It was something I want to try and I did. It was also a very cold enviroment to me as well. They told me whatever they felt I wanted to hear.

From the Rainbow Room to Iraq

It funny I try a new adventure this weekend I went to bar called the Rainbow Room on East Eight Mile Road and let me say I will vote to make bar's all nonsmoking in a New York Minute. The other thing is the majority of lesbians that were at this bar, well let say they didn't make me feel warm and wanting to get to know me at all. The bartender was about the only nice one I meet there. She didn't charge me for a club soda after two Rolling Rocks at $4.00 a piece. The trannies that were there well .....they have they work ahead of them if they want to pass as woman. So here my question about being the different gender if you can't do it well then should you do it? I walk out there more confused because when I see two woman being emotional and holding each other I get excited wishing it was me. I want to thank the bartender for letting me into her world last night. She and the other bartender a little older woman probably in mid-40's and they acted like lovers and to watch them interact together well it fun and very cute. The reality of it all is that I'm 6'3 and 230 pound person. I do not look like the woman I truly would like to look like. I drove home for over forty minute drive listening to some good old rock'n roll I must admit I do not like dance music at all. So what I need to do is open a gay friendly mature bar with a good taste in background music. Maybe there is such a place in Michigan I just haven't found it.
The next subject about Iraq and all the bullshit that happening there just get me even more mad at current administration. I was actually watching Meet the Press this morning and what scare me was I agreed with Pat Buchcan. Don't worry I still flipping liberal and fighter for the cause. Pat just believes we need to get the hell out of there and that Bush basically make deals with the devil to improve he popularity points. I agree. We got to keep the pressure on these politicians and to war on descend of Bush policies. Oh, well. I actually did another wacky thing yesterday I went in to store called Lover's Lane on Woodward in Royal Oak. They actually have saleswoman in there and that show you all their products. I actually blush when I was back in I what I guess is adult toy department and the sales woman tells me that the area I was looking at is mostly the anal area. EH! I want to buy a vibrator for myself. Even at fifty years of age one still wants a sometype of sex life. But I must be living in cave the selection was unbelievable didn't know of all the different type of weird toys their are. I did buy one .....not the anal one those. As Woody Alan one said " It better to do it somebody that you love". I guess I like my sex like my music and drink. Simple and pure. Peace.

RE: Superbowl Night

It funny I was at Superbowl Party and we all had great time and then at halftime. Sir Paul Mc Carthny was playing it was great it seem at moment everybody watching was singing " Hey Jude" it one classic moment. Then the downer came when a old friend who so to right it was painful we got into argument about Health Care Insurance and the cost and how out of control it is. May I say thank GOD for drugs that help me with my problem this week. I started a new drug for my RA called EMBEREL it another shot once a week and then my doc gave something it relieve the inflammation on my wrist and fingers even those it he said he might be temporary. One day without pain is a good one. Like I said to him I like to pitch 9 innings instead of the problems of walking up & down the stairs. I guess being a translesbian isn't what happens when I still have some of my old male ways but I love my female ways as I get older. Why does getting to get layed always have to be about GENDER? The Eagles gave a great fight ...It was both two Blue States against each other. Well that my story and hope you listen and read the blog. Music tonight was from Sly & Family Stone " Family Affair" to Boz Scaggs " Loan Me A Dime" .

RE: Two Woman I Admire in the Trans World

There are some transgender woman that I have meet or should I say been introduce to them by either their web page / blog/ some support group. This road of being a transgender lesbian is not a easy one. Some the TS Woman don't really want to tell you their sexual preferance they want to be somewhat mysterious about it. I guess because I've always been in sales I just rather be up front on what I am and what I'm going to be. I guess I am more drawn to the more mature TS/TG woman and they path they have chosen to take. A couple of my new hero's are Donna Rose who is a very classy woman period. And she does answer her email and is very supportive. Read her book "Wrapped in Blue". It would be a dream of mine to be with her like she was with her friend Kathy and have that special feeling that she has made the right decision. I got to be believe she more of a lesbian than she is hetro woman. But that only a guess and whatever she is okay with me. My newest hero is Denise /UMlawgirl. She has a great blog to read and she doing two things I at once transtioning in womanhood and going back to school to get LAW degree at University of Michigan. I've haven't meet or talk to her but she must be one bright woman cause to go back in mid-life and to be with the young students in competitive environment is well one tough thing in my book. Becoming a woman when you have been a man close to 50 years that one hell of tough road as well. Denise you got my vote and support. You go girl. These woman represent what I want to be in the world of womanhood. It doesn't hurt that both very cute and stylish as well. Keep going ladies. You all have a good weekend.

RE: Keep the pressure on

Well I haven't written here in a while. I was little depress about the election. I stared my morning getting out of bed hearing on the radio that Michigan is the leading the country in the highest unemployment rate. Then I go to my office and put on MSNBC to see my main man the grump Don Imus tell everybody that over 30 soldiers died in helicopter crash in Iraq. If you think that situation is going to getting better well pass me one as well so I can take a good toke. Then I heard the W. press conference and you say to yourself he must be living in Disneyland and what world is he living in. I started my year out with my annual present from Michigan Blue Cross and Blue Shield a 10% plus increase. Also I went to 2 funeral in one day at the same place and both these people where at my 50th birthday party. My they have peace in the after world . And now Johnny Carson. All 3 of these people where classic people and all meant something to me. As I get older I realize your health and mental well being are the most important thing to preserve for yourself. But I'm still One Mad Jewish TransLesbian. When I see injustice it make me mad and I got to speak up. Their is only one bush I like that why I'm lesbian as well. We got to keep the pressure on these Bushie people because sooner hopefully not later they will screw up. Let me know what you think. I guess this more political than about transgender problems. But don't they go hand in hand? Just go download Lola by the Kinks and enjoy your life. Until next time. Peace.

RE: The Debates.....GO KERRY

I watch tricky Dick Cheny last night. Man he looks like he needs a good movement and other things that might make him human. He really shows that he no knowledge of the real struggles of real people and those of minorities. Because he didn't know of the woman of color aids problem. Hello Dick have you been to any major city and look around. NO! The media for it most part was claiming that Dick won the debate ( Come On, Chris Matthews) these debates are not sporting events they are suppose to be about real issues and problem with some type of solutions. Lets hope Friday night Kerry will do good again and Georgie will look like that deer in the headlights look. I wonder does anybody read my blog or writing to myself. Let me know!

"Yom Kippur"

This a day of reflection for me. It is probably the only day of the year I go to the Temple on my own. I say memorial prayer for parent's. It the right thing to do I guess. It works for me. Then I ask myself well if their is a G-d then it must be one screw up person. With all that wrong in the world and no cure for disease. The politicians boy can they all repent. They are all a bunch of use car salesman. I don't see things getting better in this crazy world either. I guess I should put on some Neil Young "Tonight the Night" CD and pour myself a strong scotch on the rock (single malt) and watch some movie only in black & white film.
The goods news is I made new friend (I think) Rebecca. I enjoy reading her blog and just by chatting with her I saw we had a lot of things and ideas in common. Twin sister of different mothers maybe? I stole that from old Dan Fogelberg album "Twin Sons of Different Mothers" with Tim Weisberg anybody remember that? It Dan attempt at jazz. Well I have to go atone now. See you on the other side so I can do it all over again. Peace

Happy New Year to All my Jewish Sisters

I want to wish all those you read this and are Jewish a Happy & Healthy New Year. Funny thing I'm not a religious person but indentify with my Jewishness. I would never back down because of my religion. I'm a very reform Jew as well. The reform sect of the religion will married interfaith couples and actually they have a large number gay & lesbian Rabbi's. I haven't heard of any trans rabbi's yet. As well of any Jewish Temples accepting same sex couples as married couples.
Actually...I've been a little blue of late because I meet woman via the internet and thought wow this going good but like always something happens and she writes don't email her anymore. Maybe because I slip and think in the male mode not the female mode. I keep asking myself am I truly a transgender lesbian. I come back to same thoughts and feeling. I am. As I shave my face in the morning I see not my face but one that I hope I will see in the future. Is it me or is their more people like me out world? Email me and tell me so. Peace. I need to hear "I'm not alone in the end zone" .

RE: The media plays up Bush tear down Kerry

I watch the cable news channels I can't believe how they play up Bush ....It all the BS and the spin that the Bushie put out to convince us that he should be reelected. They tear Kerry apart because he actually thinking about different ways the achieve solutions. People, Bush can reappoint probably half the Supreme Courtif reelected. If your gay or know somebody that is gay then guess what hell will be starting come 11/2 if he is reelected. If your transperson watch out. I don't know I'm not scare yet. The debates will tell the tale. Kerry better be up for it. They betetr be able get to Bush to show somebody should can mess with that cowboy from Texas. Georgie is nothing more than silver spoon kid. He never had to worry about anything in life other than screwing up.
As sit here and type I really writing more like some macho dude then what I like to portray myself as a translesbian. I guess I'm more in my butch mode than femme mode. Hell I'm just one person that is mad at the media and Chris Matthews. Sorry Chris ....I won't mention Fox News they are totally right wing bulls..t artist.
Peace

Another day another dollar

You know I feel I'm getting to old to take krap from some thirty something idiot . Mr. Macho who thinks he knows everything about business. I seen his type before and see them go down and luckily never to come back into power or business. That when I feel I have to retreat to my car and just think of my goal to join the female world and to stay there. I also got to say thank god I got satellite radio in my car and can listen to Air America it really breath of fresh air on the air waves. I enjoy Unfiltered Radio and Al Franken and Big Ed Shultz and Randi Rhodes. Actually one the girls is lesbian name Rachel Maddow I love her voice. Here the question of the day. Is the press slanted to Bush or is Kerry and his machine just not getting to them. Get to the real issue. Health care and jobs and how it affects people life. Debra if you read this...I'm truly sorry you have been bright spot in shade of the day.
Peace.......

RE: Mad Jew for Kerry

I was watching good old John Kerry this morning giving a speech and saying to myself come on Johnny boy lets get mad and show some flipping compassion. So America knows that you can fight back and be one nasty son of bitch just like George W. That what I personally feel he needs to do to win. You got to look the devil in eye and scare the hell out him. Kerry has seen death and W hasn't that the difference. Is Kerry my first choice no...but he thousand times better than Bush. I saw this ad in paper JewsForGeorge that were I came up One Mean Jew for Kerry!! I can't stand my fellow Jews that are for George they the most uptight missionary assholes in the world that think they always right and that Bush is Israel only supporter. With those Jews it always about Israel and taxes. It must be nice if that is your only concern in life.
Peace

Hello.............My first blog

Were do I start........I'm 50 mtf lesbian or least indentify as one. In reality I'm still man dreaming to be female one day. Will I ever be where some my trans sister are in their lives.